Hurting and Hiding
by Aussiesrule34
Summary: A story with lots of interaction between Phoenix and Trucy... GS4 spoilers. Flashbacks to younger Trucy and a deeper look at what she's holding inside.


**Hurting and Hiding**

This story made me cry as I was writing it. I can only hope you do the same ;). I love the interactions between Trucy and her father, and I know that a lot of people want more fanfic of younger Trucy/Phoenix moments. This is a more serious piece, but I just had to write it. I feel like I know just what Trucy feels like, hiding behind a smile, being strong for someone else. I would like reviews... hint hint

Without further ado...

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I'll…I'll never do it again, Daddy!" she wailed as she ran to the man standing across from her and squeezed her arms tightly around his waist. His stern expression softened a bit as he gently placed a hand on the small brown head and stroked her hair. "I know, Trucy." 

There was a sadness on his unshaven face which seemed to vanish when his tired eyes fell on her- his daughter. The little girl choked with sobs, her face buried in his middle. "Daddy"…Phoenix Wright… looked concerned when the sobs didn't abate. She was never like this… little Trucy was a constant source of sunshine. Even a reprimand or a serious "talk" with her normally easy-going father didn't faze her…not this much. 

Phoenix lifted up the little figure that was clinging to him, sobbing. Her pink magician's cape billowed out behind her, and she clung to her father as he held her. Her round face was streaked with tears, her dark brown hair a wild mess. Phoenix kissed her affectionately on the forehead and sat down on the couch, still holding her. When the sniffling stopped, he finally spoke. "…You want to tell Daddy about it?" Trucy nodded, wearing on her round little face an expression of resolve much too old for her. Every ounce of strength she had showed convinced Phoenix that Trucy was special. Trucy… she was brilliant- a genius, Phoenix liked to call her. He patted her on the back and waited for her to begin. She was rubbing her eyes now, smiling in that sunny way that said "nothing is wrong." "Its okay, Daddy." She cocked her head to the side. "I'm sorry for being such a baby. I'm okay now. Say, I haven't showed you my newest trick, have I?" The little girl began to exuberantly spring off of his lap, but Phoenix stopped her. "What's wrong, Daddy?" Trucy asked. His face was so serious, the way it always was when they had a "talk." She swallowed and sat back down. "Trucy- you see through me when I lie to you. But you can't get away with lying to me either. I saw right through that... and I don't even have eyes like yours." Trucy dropped her gaze, her lip quivering, and Phoenix hugged her tightly to him. "You don't have to hold everything inside of you, Trucy. You can tell me… Daddy would like to know." They sat there for a moment in silence, until Trucy lifted her face again. But there was no smile on it this time. Her expression matched her father's- very earnest and gravely serious. "Daddy… last night, when I slept over at Katy's house, I… I had a nightmare." Phoenix rested his chin on her head and mumbled, "I felt like I was living a bad dream; you were gone… I hadn't heard from you for hours…" The tone he used sounded more as if he was talking to himself than her, but his arms involuntarily tightened around his daughter. Trucy's face crumpled, and she tried to explain. "Daddy… I didn't think to tell you…" Her words bunched together as she tried to get them out. "I was so excited, about my first sleepover…" "Shhh…" Phoenix murmured. "You don't have to explain. Now tell me… about your dream." 

As Phoenix looked on her, he wished he could protect her from being hurt…Such a small creature, the little girl was, with so much yet to learn, to experience. And yet she had experienced more pain in her short life than any human should ever have to bear… 

Phoenix felt a pang in his heart that wouldn't subside. He would need to watch over her more closely than ever… because he was the only one who could. No one else could hear her sobbing at night, those loud, wrenching sobs that made Phoenix feel as if his heart was being ripped out from within him… because he could do nothing. Sometimes, the emptiness of her smile convinced him that she only put it on for him… and it hurt him deep inside that nothing he could do would spare her the pain of having lost both of her parents.

"I…I dreamed we went to the amusement park, Wonder World, and we were having so much fun! You even took me on the roller coasters, Daddy! We had all sorts of good food…ice cream and cotton candy. And then, I went to get in line for the merry go round… and, and you were gone… you had been holding my hand a minute ago… and, all of a sudden, you weren't there. It… it was like you had... V-vanished into thin air… I ran across the whole park searching for you… I told myself it was alright, because you had promised me _you _would never vanish and leave me behind. But… I never found you. And when I woke up, I started crying, because… because you weren't there, either. I wasn't even at home. I was so lonely…" Phoenix wiped away the fat tears that rolled down her cheeks and lovingly cradled her head on his shoulder. He rocked her until the tears stopped coming, until her breathing came easily, and not in gasping sobs and wails. Then he spoke again. "I _promise, _Trucy, that I will never leave you. I'll never vanish. You just have to trust me, and believe that I'll always be right here. I _promise._" He spoke into her ear with a fierceness that betrayed the heart within him, and the feelings deep inside. 

_ How could Zak leave her behind?_

_ This girl… is starved for love. She doesn't even have a mother. She's all alone… except for me._

It wasn't long before Trucy's smile was back, when the memory of the nightmare had vanished to wherever dreams go. Her light-hearted giggle brought warmth to Phoenix's heart again as he heard it echo through the house. Sometimes Phoenix would chase her through the house, finally catching her and tickling her till she cried- big, happy tears. Her magician's hat would slant at an odd angle and her cloak would twist around sideways. Other times, she would greet him with Mr. Hat at the door. It startled him until he came to expect it, the odd wooden figure and the young magician beside him. And occasionally he would take her to work with him-she would sit there on the piano bench, talking and laughing and telling him stories. Her atmosphere drew customers; there was something very magnetic about the little girl. She endeared herself to others instantly. Despite everything, she always woke up with a heart full of anticipation, ready to live life and excited about what lay beyond each bend. Just one look at her bouncing out the door to school put a spring in Phoenix's step.

_ Trucy… what would I do without you…?..._

Life wasn't so bad, really… No, not when you've got something worth living for.

She grew, and learned, and became, until one day Phoenix admitted to himself that she would need a mother someday soon. For she wouldn't be a child very much longer…

"Daddy!" Phoenix's heart was warmed by the familiar squeal and enthusiastic hug that accompanied his return from work. He playfully ruffled her hair. "Hey, Trucy. How'd your night go?" "Oh, homework." Hands on her hips, she put on a pouting face. "But, I thought maybe we could play a game when you got home! Look, look at this!" Phoenix ached inside at her happiness. It had taken so long to get here… and now he would have to bring it back up again. Wounds on the heart don't really heal… they just scab over, and it doesn't take much to peel back that scab and start it burning and itching all over again. He'd have to dredge up those old memories…

"Daddy?" Trucy looked worriedly up at him. "You're not sick, are you? I'll get some aspirin for that head of yours!" But before she could bound across the room, Phoenix stopped her. "Trucy. I need to tell you something. It won't be easy to hear." The smile disappeared and she dropped her head. "This… does it have something to do with the trial? I thought it was over… two days ago…" "Yes, it's over. But your father…" The tears started coming rapidly down Trucy's face. She took a step back as if he had struck her. "No… no! You're my father!" Her tone of voice was unnaturally high, almost a shriek. Phoenix winced and swallowed the lump in his own throat. The look on her face almost stopped the words from coming. "He's… he's gone. Forever this time…"

"_He's gone…." "Forever…"_

The words came, but it felt like the scene played out in slow motion. Trucy's blue eyes opened wide… wider, and she bent double, as if someone had pierced her- pierced her in the heart. 

_I hurt her…_

Phoenix caught her, carried her to the couch… he didn't know whose tears they were, but his hands were wet, his face wet, his shoulder wet where her face lay. His throat burned… his eyes burned… his heart felt as if it was burning a hole in his chest. And they stayed there until morning dawned. Trucy didn't go to school the next day. Neither did Phoenix show up for work. But, somehow, their roles had been reversed. Trucy had always been Phoenix's light… ever since that fateful day when his badge had been taken from him. She was his reason for everything… life wouldn't have had flavor if it hadn't been for Trucy. Sometimes when he didn't want to get up in the morning, thinking of long, cold hours in front of the piano at the musty little restaurant, he would hear her singing in the morning as she skipped about preparing breakfast. He had always felt it was Trucy who kept him from sinking…

But now, he was the one holding her up. He felt as if all the work of the past years had been undone… as if they were back to square one. So many times, Phoenix put on a smile that wasn't really there. So many times, he would feign cheerfulness because he knew she was hurting. He would sit outside her door at night and hear the pitiful sound of his daughter's gasping sobs, until he could bear it no longer and would open the door and take her in his arms. She wanted to put on a brave face to the world, but from her father, she couldn't hide. Even during the day, she could keep herself occupied and smiling, but too often she couldn't escape the pain at night. It would come suddenly and take its hold on her with grasping, icy cold claws. 

_Daddy… don't leave me…_

Phoenix knew that in time, Trucy would be alright. "I knew, inside… I knew I would never see Daddy again." She told him. Sometimes she just needed to cry. And he let her, because it was all over…that stage of her life. 

But he knew that the sun would shine again when she told him, one day, - "Daddy… Phoenix Wright… you're my _real _daddy. Not a replacement… or a backup plan… you're my real daddy. And I feel it, right here." She put her hand over her heart. "I think… I can smile again."

And she did.


End file.
